you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
