no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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