Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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