I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
