Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
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