shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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