I accidentally burped into my bong.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
