It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You don't make any sense
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