i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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