Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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