Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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