lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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