I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
