The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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