so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
