i just wanna soil my oats bro
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
