Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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