Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
