I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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