yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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