Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize