dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I think my moral compass just broke
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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