Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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