in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Randomize