Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
