I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
