I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
