his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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