i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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