you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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