dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
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You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
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a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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