Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Boobs speak an international language.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
