Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
