At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
