Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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