I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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