I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
