Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
