My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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