my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I need a burrito and a hug.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
