8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
