Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is Oprah even human
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize