K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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