hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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