Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(510): View more from California

he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.

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(850): View more from Florida

I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.

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(315): View more from New York

I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"

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(706): View more from Georgia

He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.

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(210): View more from Texas

IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.

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(636): View more from Missouri

PS: I just woke up from my shower

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(312): View more from Illinois

I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in

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(319): View more from Iowa

Try me, you 5'5 gremlin

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