There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
