Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
