Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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