I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
My bed smells like the plague
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
