Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
