one might say we're banned from that church
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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