Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
