so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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