I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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