Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
