I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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